Titulo: Heal Me Sane
Autor: Yinsitang ZouCheng
Género: AU, H/C, Angst & Lemon
Parejas: main-JongKey
others: Taekey, 2min, others.
resumen:
Kim Kibum a 20 year old that suffers from with DID (Dissossiative Identity Disorder).

diferent personalities within him and a kind Doctor being the only one willing to help .

will he be able to get a hold on his sanity?


Nota:


about looks:

*Key: the one on Y.O.U [upgraded from chap.13 to the look on HELLO]

*Jonghyun: the one on Y.O.U
*Taemin: the look whe used on "Lucifer"
*Joon: the one on the "Y" video
*Doojoon: the one on Soom (lol he always looks the same.)
*chansung: the one on Tired of waiting
*Minho: the haircut he had on "Love Like Oxigen" ...*¬*
*Kan: the one on 'Gorgeous'// Midnight sun
*LeeU: the one on 'Gorgeous'// midnight sun
*CL: the one on ToAnyOne
*Jessica& SNSD: ...just...ther normal self
*Jung Su: the current appearance // Bonamana
*mysterious guy from the bar: -----------

others: U MUST WAIT

it u want an specific couple or person/character to be added, just send a comment.

----------------------------------


Heal Me Sane: Mamma


-----------------------------------







"Kibum, having fun?"

"bet you are, look at all these great gifts!"



A dark haired teen sat in the middle of a group of adults, his smile fading as people continued to ask him the same question, over and over.


He wanted them to shup up, he wanted them to go away,he was tired of it all but daren't say a thing. That might upset his father, and he didn't want to do that. So he continued to answer all of their stupid annoying questions, his voice going lower and duller each time he answered, trying to be a good son so his mother would be proud of him.



Why didn't his mamma love him already? Weren't mothers supposed to love their sons, even if they were stupid, ugly, whiny and didn't do everything exactly perfect?



"Kibum! arent your parents nice for throwing you such a lovely party? I remember i didn't get a party at all, when I was turning 17 all i got was a 'happy birthday, boy' and that was it. Aren't you lucky, Kibum?"


"I…am" he strained, the words becoming harder and harder to push out. It wasn't as though he didn't want to do it anymore; it was like he simply couldn't. It was beecoming real hard for his lips to move, it was like they were stitched together tightly and his mouth was as dry as a raisin, at the next question, he didn't give a reply, it wimply wouldnt move.



"is something wrong,Kibum?"

"…"

"Kibum, answer!"



He wanted to say something, anythig...but he couldnt, he was dizzy now, it was like somebody had placed a hand over his mouth…only that, that person was inside of him, their nails digging into the inside flesh of his lips, holding them shut. He couldn't talk, he couldn't answer his mom, father was going to be so angry at him later!

and as he was starting to panic, his lips finally moved...



"i don't like it! Shut up already, leave me alone!"

He slapped a hand over his own mouth less than a second later, dark brown eyes widening as he looked up at all of the shocked adults. He saw his mother, her pretty brown eyes watering and glaring at him as she felt embarrassed infront of so many people.



he wanted to cry, how could he do this to her? she will never love him now, he opened his mouth with the intention of explaining his mother how sorry he was.

"Mom, wait, no, I—"

Kibum felt this funny feeling in his pit of his stomach, and suddenly, his head began to spin, and he could feel his lips moving again, even though he knew that he wasn't moving them. This was scaring him, who was talking for him, why was this happening?

"I hate this party, you stupid cow!"

Gasping for air, Kibum stood up, watching silent tears drip down his mother's cheeks. He had upset her now...he was in for it later, once his father found out what happened, he'll never leave him live it down.



He was currently at work, but anyways, Kibum decided he should apologize and lock himself in his room until this all went away...until it all just went away.

Shoving past the group of adults, Kibum only trusted himself to say a hurried "Im sorry!" before he burst through the door to the house, marble floor tiles thudding under the weight of his feet. As he made his way up the stairs, he felt that feeling in his stomach again, and he wanted to throw up and cut himself open to get it out. He had to make it stop somehow, it didn't matter how, but he wanted it to stop.



"Father's gonna be mad, Father's gonna be mad, he's gonna be so, SO mad..."



"Who cares if daddy's mad? I sure don't, and you shouldn't either,heh...Kibum-ah~"

"Stop talking to me! Leave me alone!"

"Why, Bummie? I won't leave...is better if you are the one to leave"

"I cant leave! This is my body!"

"Its mine too, Bummie...is my body too. I think you should leave. leave...kibum-ah~"



Kibum began crying, his breath hitching erratically as he ran all the way to his bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. He grabbed the lamp on his nightstand, gripping it firmly in his hands and swinging it before dropping it on to the ground, shaking his head furiously.



"Bummie, you're not allowed to cry" he heard himself say. He could feel himself tugging on his hair, slapping his hands over his ears, shaking his head, and finally blacking out...only...that he wasn't blacking out, he was still awake.


it was a whole new feeling, as if he was no longer in control n only looking from far. he didnt care what mother or father thought anymore, he just wanted to hit something! to smash it as hard as he could.



Picking up the lamp once again, his ears perked up slightly as he heard a knocking on his door. It was his mother, back upstairs to have a...TALK with him.



"Bummie..." she said softly, almost innocent as she knocked on the door, her high-pitched voice quavering as though it was on the edge of tears. "Bummie, may i come in?"



"Of course, mamma..." he said, his voice shaking with excitement "you SHOULD come in"


There was the creaking sound of the bedspring as he stood up, the rustling of his designer clothing as he walked across the room, and finally the soft clicking of the doorknob as he opened the door for her.


His mother was standing outside, her back-length black hair slightly out-of-place. Kibum had never seen his mother's hair out of place. It was always in a tight high bun on the back of her head. Kibum thought it was so pretty and wondered why she never let it down, it was soft-looking and shiny, it made her small brown eyes look so pretty, her lips were so red and round and perfect. she was one of those persons that get prettier with age.



But now, Kibum wanted nothing more than to ruin that pretty face. He wanted to make it bleed, to hurt , to make his mother pay for not loving him, for controlling every aspect of his life with guilt, for pretending she didnt see what his father does to him...he hated her...



"Bummie, please explain to me, what's wrong with you today?"



Kibum didnt hesitate, he pulled the lamp out from behind his back with great force, slamming it against his mother's face, her high-pitched scream echoing throughout the house. There was a dull thud as her body hit the ground, she had fell to the floor probably shocked, her nose profusely bleeding, blood squirting out of her mouth probably having injured her teeth.



Not waiting nor hesitating for the slightest moment, he slammed the back of the lamp into her face again, continuously crushing her face until her screams and pleads became gargled and choked as she drowned on her own blood...until they finally stopped.



Dropping the blood-spattered decorative lamp to the floor, brown eyes glistening brightly and with excitement, Kibum felt warm, red liquid seeping through his clothes and tainting his skin but didn't mind it at all.



"Mamma~" he said, voice holding the childish tone he had when he was younger, full of innocence and no knowledge of the horrors of the world.



"Thanks...I had fun at my party..."




"Heebon? Heebon?"



Mrs. Han walked into the room, one of his mother's friends that had been invited to Kibum's party, apparently, she had either noticed Heebon had been missing or heard her screams.


Her eyes widened as she saw the hideous sight before her. Kibum giggling softly, snuggling up to his mother's unmoving body, her face smashed, broken and blood staining the both of them. The blood making splashed sporadic patterns on the wall, leaving some kind of eerie design.


"Call 119!" she shrieked loud enough for everybody downstairs to hear, also attracting the attention of the slim teen that had been fixated on his mother's body moments earlier.



He looked up at her but all she saw was a sickeningly sweet smile from him before she slammed the door shut and ran downstairs, going to make sure that the police was getting there soon.



A few minutes later, Kibum heard sirens and the loud thudding of footsteps as policemen barreled up the stairs to the bedroom.



however, he didnt care that they were there. They couldnt fix the problem, nobody could.




Even as they bursted into the room, all of them horrified at the disgusting sight and even more scared of the insane look in the bloody teen's eyes.





even as they dragged him to the back of the police car, all he could do was laugh.





...it didn't matter.



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heal Me Sane: 'Dixmor Institution for the Criminally Insane'


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------







"No, wait! please, let me go!" whined the young brunette man, voice high-pitched and eyes watering as he tugged at the straightjacket holding his arms in place.



"Please, I-I'll be good! I didn't mean to hurt her! mamma knows it! promise I'll never do it again, just...please mister, let me go! I-I'm scared"



"Shut up, crazy kid" muttered the driver sitting on the front seat behind a steel cage door, kind of like the ones you'll see in police cars to keep the policeman away from the dangerous criminals.



"im not crazy, you motherfucking bastard, gonna tear your face off if u keep calling me that!" the same young man said, brown eyes flashing dangerously as he yanked on the straightjacket, hissing at his captor.



"Now YOU shut the fuck up, let me out of this goddamn thing and maybe i'll consider leaving that fucking ugly face of yours untouched, alright?"



Kibum, now a twenty year old man, got no response from the other this time.



He angrily struggled against the confines that held him back, feeling the car beginning to move and briefly giving up on his intentions. It didnt appear as if he could stop these people from taking him away to some new mental institution.



Mental institutions for the criminally insane, they said that normal mental institutions simply did not have the resources needed to handle someone like him, he was too dangerous for a common mental insitution and too insane for a normal prison, so, it was off to some kind of new asylum, just because the fucking idiotic doctors at this one had given up on him.



Why wasn't anybody trying to help him anymore?



"Please..." he cried, beginning to hyperventilate slightly, flinging body back and forth trying to get air into his lungs, his hair going side to side over his face. "The jacket is too tight, cant breathe! I-It hurts! Make it stop!"



"i said SHUT UP!" the man said harsh and unforgiving.



He didnt exactly know but it felt like hours before they finally arrived at the new institution, Kibum's random outbursts always being interrupted by the man's harsh responses, the silence that followed being filled with either sobs or strings of muttered obscenities.



Didn't seem as if Kibum's normal personality was going to make an appearance anytime soon. He was much too stressed for anything for the like to happen, the straightjacket seeming too tight, his hair sticking to his damp face and cheeks.



He didn't want to be transfered, just to have more doctors that wouldnt give a crap about him, just to be abandoned to rot in a dark room all day then be moved to another crazy-house where the cycle would start all over again.



The van came to a stop and the driver calmly stepped out of it, Kibum got a good look at the size of his muscles and bulk,analyzing the chances of succesful scape, brown eyes fluttering quickly a few times as the driver opened the door and allowed the cold northern air to blow into the confined space.



he breathed deeply the fresh air allowed inside the cramped car almost with lust, it had been so long since he was let outside, Kibum managed to calm down, tear stains on his cheeks quickly fading and melting back into the pale sick color the rest of his cheeks was.



"Thanks" he said softly, voice calm and regular as his eyes surveyed his new home, blinking a few times. the gate keeper decided to open the huge iron gate and they went through it, leaving them effectively trapped inside when it shut behind their back.



"Let's go" the man said gruffly, rushing Kibum towards the creepy old stone building that was quite church-like in design, towers spiraling to the sky and windows with bars on them, making creepy shadows on to the almost dead lawn.

Kibum stared at the rusted iron plaque that said "Dixmor Institution for the Criminally Insane" before he was shoved through the front door, his hair falling over his face hidding his humiliation as he saw some nurses gossiping while staring at him.



He hated how he was always pushed around like this, led like he was some kind of animal that couldn't figure out where to go for itself.



"I can walk you know" he said quietly, stumbling along as he was shoved again.

" yah! stop it stupid- "

"Shut it"

"im sick of you telling me to shut up!" he growled angrily, turning around with a look that spelled out death for the next to mess with him. "Why don't you shut the fuck up, you fucking arrogant idiot!? Dont you dare tell me what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing, araso!?"



"that's it! im done of your talking back! " the man said, grabbing on to the straps of Kibum's straightjacket and pulling them tighter, choking the young man.



"Aaghhh!" he shrieked, his childish voice taking over again, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes. "Dont! Please, Stop it! It hurts!"



"Mr. Kwon! please refrain yourself from handling my patient so roughly!" a bleached blond haired man said harshly, rushing up to the two of them, pulling the crying Kibum away from the driver.



"Mr. Kwon, you may leave now, im sure you'll receive a bonus for delivering the patient successfully"



Kibum looked at his newfound savior, his eyes still dripping helplessly. The blond man must have only been a year or two older than him but he might be wrong, he looked shorter than him after all. Why the hell would he want to work at a mental hospital for criminals, Kibum had no clue, but he didnt care at the moment. The most childish of his personalities was showing now, and he liked this man he seemed...nice.



"Are you my doctor?" he asked softly, watching as Mr. Kwon walked off, turning to the blond guy a moment later.



"will you help me?"



Not answering him, the blond man smiled at him. pulled out a clipboard, turned on his heel and began to walk, his left hand gesturing for Kibum to follow him when he decided that his newfound patient wasnt in a foul mood.



"What does my patient calls himself?" he asked, turning the first page on his clipboard, Kibum could see him placing the tip of his pen lightly on the line that read 'name'


"You mean...my name?" his statement was followed by a nod.



"mamma calls me Bummie" he said softly, stumbling along clumsily, his straightjacket was making his walking abilities worse.



"Are you going to fix me?"



"Bummie, could I talk to Kibum?"

"Who's Kibum?"

"I know Kibum is in there, Bummie. Would you please allow me to talk to him for a second?"



"I said I dont know what the fuck you're talking about" the brunette deadpanned, stopping straight in his tracks, simply standing in the middle of the hallway. "tch! stupid fucking doctor, do I look like more than one person to you? Im one fucking person, im not sick, lemme out of here"



"Bummie?" the doctor questioned, cocking his head and taking a few steps forward, looking at the other man with a new interest.

"Dont fucking call me that!" the brunette growled, struggling desperately to get out of his straightjacket and attempt to attack the man, however, to no avail, the jacket refused to rip "dont call me that, you dont know me, you stupid ass!"



"Then what should i call you?" he asked, blinking a few times, passing his fingers through his bleached hair.



"is Key, you goddamn idiot, shut up already!"



the doctor's eyes focused completely on the clipboard, and he was rapidly scribbling down information on different pages that were on his clipboard. He didnt seem intimidated by Kibum at all, it was as though he automatically assumed that the man wouldnt be able to touch him, even if they were less than 5 feet apart. 5 feet apart from a man that others had declared 'too far gone to help' and 'so mentally unstable, there was no chance he could be CURED'.



After a few minutes of calm silence, nothing but the scratching noise of a pencil or rustling as the doctor's coat whispered, Kibum managed to get himself back under control. He looked up, face sweaty and skin sticky under the heat of the straightjacket.



He wanted to be cured...he hoped that this (very relaxed) doctor could help.



"im sorry" Kibum suddenly said, voice filled with sincere want to be forgiven. "didnt meant to swear at you like that, working on it, i-"



"relax, you got no need to apologize" the doctor said, his sweet voice like music to Kibum's ears. "i know what is happening to you, Key, and i—"



"Please, dont call me Key" he interrupted, cringing each time the doctor used his name. "my name is Kibum...please dont ever call me Key"



"ah~"

He watched as the doctor scribbled more on the first paper, and then began to make his way down the corridor, silently moving his hand once again for Kibum to follow him. The brunette did, eyes occasionally flickering to the walls and ceiling of his new home. The building was dark and gloomy, not the kind of place to be a 'healing' environment at all. It looked more like the kind of place you would lock prisoners of war, the flickering lightbulbs and the alcohol-smelling carpet driving Kibum insane already.



"We got a room prepared for you" the man said smiling at him, turning another corner, still madly scribbling away as though he had just thought of a brilliant idea and could forget it any minute "has a single bed and you'll have no roommates, Kibum"



"you can call me Bummie!" the brunette insisted, now stumbling once again in a desperate attempt to catch up to the short doctor. "call me Bummie!"



"deh, sorry, Bummie-ah" the doctor said lightly, brown eyes flickering to him for the briefest of moments before turning back to his clipboard.



"i still think you'll enjoy your room, you got one all for yourself, did you had your own room back at your house, Bummie?"

"i had my own room" he said happily, biting his lip and frowning a moment later.



"i don't like it."



"Why not?"

"i dont want to say! Leave me alone!" the brunette whined, flinching his eyes shut, shaking his head madly. He tried to sit down in the middle of the hallway, a few tears dripping down his face as he quivered and buried his head in his knees, he wanted to bring his hands to his face, hide himself from the world, but the tight fabric that kept his hands bound and hidden would not allow that.



"sorry, Bummie" the doctor said sincerely.

"Would you like to know my name, since i know yours?"



The brunette nodded, looking up at the doctor with hopeful eyes.

"im Jonghyun" he said softly, brushing a few locks of hair out of the brunette's sweaty face, noticing how red it was.



'he might be overheating', so jonghyun figured it would be best to get him changed while he was calm like this. " now, would you like to see your room? its on the fourth floor...you got a neighbor- "



" i want " Kibum pouted, sticking his lower lip out, shaking his head once again. " i want to go back to MY house and live with MY mamma, and have MY old neighbors!"



" im sorry, Bummie, but we cant take you back until you get better" whispered the doctor, beginning to stroke Kibum's chocolate-brown hair away from his face, occasionally running his fingers softly through it.



" but if you cooperates, we can get you home very, very soon, ok?"



The brunette nodded, his eyes still affixed on the metal buckles on his heavy-duty straightjacket.

" im tired" he whispered, blinking slowly a few times. " can i go to sleep?"



" sure thing" jonghyun said, helping him stand up, being miraculously strong for a man of his...short size.

the brunette followed the blond doctor up the stairs, listening to the soft creaking of wood underneath his own feet, eyes widening as he began a rapid-fire recollection of flashbacks.



--------

He was lying on his bed, the stairs were creaking as his father walked up them...he could tell by his staggered steps that he was drunk again, a bad sign for the young Kibum...



"Call the 119!"



"Bummie, you better not scream this time..."

------------------



Kibum suddenly let out a shriek, falling to his knees, a gurgling sound forming in the back of his throat as he continued to helplessly scream. His chest tightening, his face felt like hot needles were being stabbed into every available inch of flesh, and his head spun like never before.



"Kibum?" he heard a voice say and was suddenly snapped back to reality.



" i-i c-cant breathe!" he said weakly, hyperventilating inside of the thick straightjacket "Take it off, take it off, take it off"

"Bummie, please, calm down" the voice said.

the brunette could feel the straps on his straightjacket being loosened, and the thick material being slid off of his convulsing frame.



" dont fucking touch me!" the brunette screamed, his body continuing to spasm as he attempted to squirm away. " i-i , dont, dont touch me—!"



"Key!" the voice said, Key suddenly realizing it to be Jonghyun's voice "Hold still, please."





The brunette did as he was told, continuing to softly hyperventilate, his eyes closed tightly as his hands clenched themselves into fists. His straightjacket was set on the floor next to him, and as he slowly cracked his dark brown eyes open, he realized that the only person around was Jonghyun...



Where was everybody in this place?



" help..." he whispered desperately, looking at Jonghyun with large eyes, calming himself down and attempting to stop his panic attack.



" please, help me..."



" i'll help you, Kibum, breathe, i'll do" he assured the younger man his tanned, strong hand grasping the brunette's own, as if trying to help him hold on to the small fraction of sanity he had left.



after all, it was all he could do right now.





---------------------------------------